


Profound!bots

by foxymoley



Series: ProfoundBots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, CryptosProfoundBirthday, Fluff and Crack, Glompathon, M/M, Profoundbots, profoundnet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxymoley/pseuds/foxymoley
Summary: Just a little birthday treat for Crypto inspired by the wonderful bots she created for the Profound Bond server.Join us!





	Profound!bots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cryptomoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptomoon/gifts).



> Thank you to JJ, Nadia and Le for beta'ing and whatnot. :-* 
> 
> Thank you to all the members of profound bond for playing with the bots.

 

  **1.**

“The fuck is that noise!?”  Dean rolled over and glared at the loudspeaker in his room.  
  
“Fucking Botstat! Again?” Dean pushed his fingers into his eyes and rubbed hard. He looked over in the bed to see a peacefully sleeping Cas. He poked him.  
  
“Cas...?” Nothing.  
  
“Cas!” Again, nothing. Dean leaned in closer and heard Cas mumbling about bees.  
  
“Fuck sake, you and your bees” Dean sighed.  
  
“Bees are so very important to the health of this planet and the continued survival of all who reside on it. They're also _very_ cute” Cas yawned in to his pillow. Dean rolled his eyes.  
  
“Thanks Cas.”  
  
“You’re very welcome Dean.” Cas snuffled and buried himself deeper in to the bedding.  
  
  
**2**.  
“Dean? Why is there a big red triangle on your door?” Cas stared at the place the door handle should be.  
  
“You have to tell it you’re over 18 before you can come in Cas.” Dean called from behind the door. “Sam installed it to piss me off.”  
  
Cas tilted his head and said, way too loudly in Dean’s opinion, “I wish to enter this room so that I may enter Dean. I am infinitely older than eighteen.” The door swung in to reveal Dean lying naked on the bed.  
  
“Hey Cas, what’s up?”  
  
“I am performing admirably Dean.”  
  
Cas squinted at Dean’s chuckle, wondering why he was being laughed at.  
  
“Nevermind Cas, just get over here.” Before Cas could move there was a distinct banging on the bunkers front door.  
  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ, can I just stay here?” Dean whined.  
  
“No Dean, you know the rules.”  
  
Cas watched as Dean stomped grumpily out of the room, he followed him to the entryway and stared incredulously as Dean, naked as the day he was born, swung the front door wide open.  
  
“Welcome to #ProfoundBond, @user.” Dean droned. “Head on over to #the-word-of-god and read up on the Rules. Also make sure to check out #the-codex for recent announcements. Afterwards head back over here to #introductions and introduce yourself.” Dean sighed and tried to sound more enthusiastic about their guest. “Glad you're here, buddy”.  
  
“Come on Cas, I’ve got new panties to show you…”  
  
Cas looked apologetically at the newcomer. “I’m sorry but Dean and I have somewhere to be.”  
  
  
**3**.  
Sam sat in a dark corner of the library, face lit up by the bluish glow of his phone.  
  
“What ya doin’ Sammy!” Dean yelled from too close. Sam’s left eye twitched.  
  
“Reading Dean, y’know, with the words and stuff?”  
  
“Ha, right, what are you reading?”  
  
Sam summoned his favorite bitch-face and turned it on Dean. “Why, you want a recommendation?”  
  
Dean shrugged and smirked at him. “Sure, why not?”  
  
“Alright, I recommend Tor-Valen” Sam said with a fond smile.  
  
“Nah. That one is a bit long for right now” Dean reasoned, “anything else?”  
  
“Dude it’s not that long, read Tor-Valen.” Sam pressed. He loved this story and didn’t understand why Dean was resisting.  
  
“It’s just not really what I’m feeling at the moment. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a good story but I’m looking for some fluffy smut or something.” Dean was backing away a bit now and Sam wondered why.  
  
“Why won’t you read it Dean? Where are you going, Dean?” Dean had made it to the door without Sam realizing. He jumped up and followed him holding out his phone. Dean picked up speed but Sam easily kept pace, both speed walking through the bunkers corridors. Dean leapt into his room and slammed the door in Sam’s face. He heard Dean lock the door with both the key and the bolt.  
  
“Come on Dean, what’s the big deal?”  
  
“I’ve fucking read it ok! Leave me alone!”  
  
  
**4**.  
Sam stumbled into the kitchen after his nap, pulling his curtain of hair out of his eyes. He eyed Dean warily.  
  
“You don’t look well Dean. You look a bit…flushed…and sweaty.” Sam grimaced at his brother.  
Why was he just standing in the kitchen and why was he leaning so heavily on the counter? Sam shuffled to the fridge to make himself a salad for lunch before bringing it to the breakfast bar to eat it. Dean hadn’t moved a muscle, in fact, he looked as though he was about to have an aneurysm.  
  
“Seriously Dean, what the hell is wrong with you? Is it a curse? Are you sick?” Sam wondered where Cas was. If something was up with Dean, Cas would want to know about it. Sam started to pray aloud.  
  
“Hey Cas? You there?”  
  
“Hello Sam.”  
  
What the…?! Sam looked around wildly. He heard the angel but he couldn’t see the angel.  
  
“I assure you Sam, your brother is fine.” Sam sighed when he realized where Cas’ voice was coming from.  
  
“Cas? Why are you behind the counter?” Sam screwed his eyes shut as it dawned on him.  
  
"Are you fucking?!" Sam yelled, leaping away from the bench, from his brother and the angel that was apparently on his knees in front of him.  
  
“In front of my salad?!”  
  
  
**5**.

The reel clicked and hummed as the projector cooled down.

 “That...” Dean raised his finger to make his point “...was awesome.”

 Cas smiled fondly at Dean’s enthusiastic retelling of the movie they had both _just_ watched.

 “Aw, man, that ending! I had no idea that the butler did it! Who knew?”

 Dean flinched as he felt a short sharp slap upside his head. Cas frowned at the tiny figure behind Dean.

 “No spoilers _Dean!_ We’ve talked about this!”

 “Sorry, Jenny.”

 Dean looked sheepish but whispered to Cas.

 “Smite her Cas.” Cas’ eyes glowed blue.

 “Cover your eyes Dean.”  Dean jumped in front of Cas.

 “Dammit Cas, I was kidding! The whole scary dombrow thing you got going on is hot but you can’t smite family!”

 Dean took him by the wrist and dragged him down the hall to their bedroom.

 “I would not have smote her Dean, I just like to see what I can do to you.”

 

 **6**.

Dean walked in to the room he shared with Cas to find him just sitting on the bed.  
  
“Dean. I am unsure as to why I am unable to move from this spot. After last time you should know better than to ward me to the bed again.” Dean remembered that time fondly actually. A weekend with a fully powered angel tethered to his memory foam? He may have ended up a bit sore but still, good times. Snapping out of his musing he raised his hands to deny using the bondage symbol he had designed specially for their anniversary.  
  
“Not me Cas. How are you feeling? Weird, cursed...horny?” Dean smirked on the last word and Cas rolled his eyes as dramatically as he could while stuck sitting still.

  
“I feel sickened and...angry?” Cas squinted at Dean and wrinkled his nose. Man, he can be adorable when he’s angry, Dean thought, before quickly mentally changing it to sexy. He’s a grown ass man-angel, he’s not adorable. More importantly, why is he angry...and sickened? Dean took a mental double take. Had he found something in here? Something under the bed in that box maybe? He schooled his features and crossed his arms, hunching in on himself to ask Cas, “you’ve not been, I dunno, snooping?”  
  
“Snooping Dean?” Cas asked while still squinting. Enlightenment dawned on Cas’ face “ah, do you mean the box? No, it’s nothing to do with the unusual phallus with, what I assume, is a knot?” Dean shuffled and his face flamed hot.  
  
“What? No! Whatever.” If Dean wasn’t so worried about Cas being stuck to their bed, clothed unfortunately, he would have stormed off but, as it was, they needed to get to the bottom of this. Still smirking at his internal butt joke Dean tried to pull Cas to his feet. Suddenly Dean straightened, and shot finger guns at Cas.

 “You’re awesome. Wha? What? I didn’t mean that!” Cas’s face fell. “Wait, I mean, of course you’re awesome Cas.” Both men’s faces softened and they were caught in a staring match that would make even Becky Rosen retch. Cas stiffened and stood, swiftly moving into Dean’s personal space. Both men jumped when a stranger manifested right next to them and yelled.

 

“ **_DO IT!_ ** ”

 

Realisation dawned at the same time. They each leant forward the scant few inches between them and kissed.  The stranger disappeared in a puff of smoke. They embraced, nuzzling into each others neck, whispering sweet nothings. Dean shook his head.

 “Goddamn gif triggers.”

 

**7.**

 Sam pulled out his laptop from wherever the hell he keeps it and balanced it between the bathroom door and his stomach. 

 “Dean? Deeeaan!?” Dean sighed from behind the door. 

“What can I do for you there Sam? I’m a little busy...” 

“What time do you make it?” Sam asked 

“Are you freaking kidding me Sam?! What the hell!”

“Dean, you know this is your job, what time it?”

“My job? What?” Dean sounded too out of breath for someone in the shower. Sam grinned evilly.

 “Yeah Dean, you know, it’s your job to tell me what time it is anywhere in the world at any point.” He put his laptop down and settled himself against the door. He heard Dean swear and some rapid whispering. He knew he’d regret it but this was an opportunity to great to miss. 

 “What time is it innnn...Britain?”

 “12:40 Sam.” 

 “Australia?”

 “East or West Sam? It’s a big place.”

 “Both” More muffled swearing and not a small amount of bickering filtered through the door.“19:40 West and 21:40 East, Sam. Is that all?” He could really hear the annoyance in his brother’s voice now but he needed to get him back for the shit he pulled in The Hall of Shame last week. Sam cleared his throat then snickered when he heard a voice -distinctly not Dean’s- cut off a groan. 

 “How abooout..” he dragged out the word as he tried to think of other time zones. “How about Central Europe?” Sam heard a squeak that sounded like a foot slipping on the tile then another groan. “Dean? You ok?” Sam pulled his lips tight, trying not to laugh at his bunker mates clearly in flagrante in the bathroom. 

 “18:40! Ngh...fuck, Cas.” Dean sounded decidedly strained now. Sam considered leaving them to it now that they didn’t seem to want to actually pause but then, what kind of annoying little brother would that make him? 

 “Don’t worry Dean. Nearly done!” Sam yelled this through the door at the men within.

“Then you can get back to your ‘shower’! Hmm, I just need Pacific, Eastern and Central now.”

 “4:40” Grunt “7:40” Squeak “6:40 Fuck.”

 “Thanks Dean! See you later!” Sam began to retreat to the library but doubled back when he remembered something. “Oh, I almost forgot mountain time!” The door was yanked inward.

 “I swear to fucking god Sam Winchester, if you interrupt us...um...me one more time I will shave your head in your sleep!” Dean disappeared, slamming the door. Sam could hear the beginnings of an argument in the bathroom. He pressed his ear against the door, straining to hear. 

 “Son of a bitch Cas, are you kidding me?! Could we just get on with it? It’s been hours, I'm dying here!”

 “No Dean, you have to.” Sam could imagine Cas giving Dean that look, the one with the eyebrow that makes Dean twitch. Sam shuddered but kept listening. 

 “Fine.” Dean huffed. Sam lurched forward as the door swung open again suddenly. Dean toed him hard in the ribs.

 “5:40 bitch”

 “Jerk”


End file.
